Swagga like me

I have superpowers. One is my ability to consume large quantities of food. Another is to live off little to no sleep. I thought turning 30 would be the kryptonite to this superpower, but still I persevere and push through. 30 is no match for me! I can’t remember the last time I went to bed before midnight. Seriously. But, last night was going to be different. I was going to be in bed by 11pm, which is a HUGE deal. This all changed with one phone call from Cha-Cha. “Get down to the Beauty Bar now. We are going to be in a music video.” Who can say no to that?

That statement turned out to be very true. We were in a music video for Swagga, who is apparently a reggae/hip hop star. (Don’t worry, I have never heard of him either.) We had to learn choreographed dance moves, got all the water we could drink, and were able to be in the presence of greatness. At several times during the evening I had to remind myself, this is real life.

Being in a music video for my new best friend Swagga taught me several important things. The first, there is a Crazy Horse 3 here in Las Vegas. I learned this from one of our fellow dancers, who works there as a stripper. Our stripper friend arrived in what she described as her “modest work attire”. This consisted of a fish net top, gold bikini bra, fish net thigh-highs, and a gold mini skirt. All this nicely accentuated by clear platform stripper heels and upper thigh tattoo. She became a very good friend of mine during the night, as she probably felt a kinship to me because we were similarly dressed. (I was wearing a black t-shirt and a denim skirt. We were practically twins.)

You can now make music videos without even using cameras. When we first arrived, the “choreographer” was teaching us the group dance routine. I say “choreographer” as his only qualification appears to be teaching a hip hop dance class at a local studio. (I got his card, first class is free, call me if you want to go!) While learning the dance, I noticed that there were no cameras anywhere. At all. Lights were going up, people were standing around wearing all black, but no cameras. I felt like perhaps we were being punked. When the photographer finally arrived (we knew it was him because he was wearing all black AND a hat) he had one camera around his neck. A camera for taking pictures of your trip to Europe, not for filming my world debut music video. Cropstar assures me that these cameras are fully capable of shooting amazing video, but as they say, the proof is in the pudding. I will wait for my debut on YouTube before I make any final judgments.

Being in a music video requires you to stand VERY close to people you would not otherwise associate with in life. In order to make Swagga seem popular, we were instructed to “crush” him when the music came on. Our stripper friend was excited for and excelled at this direction. I also got close and personal with Swagga, and I am sure the extra effort I put into "crushing" him will be noticed and appreciated on screen.

Standing very close and dancing with strangers will result in smashed toes. Just ask Josh, who was a baby about the whole thing and started crying the moment his toe started bleeding.

We left the shoot before it was over, because Josh was crying, and because it was after midnight and we all have actual lives that require us to sleep, no matter how good we look on film. Just goes to show how amazing it is to live in Las Vegas. Strippers, rappers, dancers, Puerto Ricans can all unite for one cause. Swagga! Look for us on YouTube!

Swagga's best dancers taking a break from the action: