Seeing your boss dance on a pole makes it all worth it...

For the most part, I have a great life. I have wonderful friends, (perhaps you have heard of my new serious relationship with Cropstar and The Other One?), I have a great family, I have a great job, I am happy. I get alot of pity looks when people find out I am (gasp!) single, but really, I am good. However, once a year an event occurs that causes me to curse my single status, causes me to scream out, why, oh why me? That event is the annual company Christmas party.

I have to believe the planner of the Christmas party has no evil intent. They want to give the hard working people a chance to have fun, and perhaps create an opportunity to see the boss (and his wife who is wearing shiny pants) do a pole dance. These are worthy goals. But, in reality, it is a group of people who usually feel a bit awkward, dragging around significant others, who feel even more awkward, but who come as safety blanket/reflection of their life outside of work.

For those of us without this safety blanket, we are forced to come up with temporary solutions that will make us look like amazing, put together people. This is not the place to bring blind dates, this is not the place for 2nd string guys. This is a place to shine. Seeing as how this is my 6th corporate Christmas party, I knew what I was looking for. A good friend, who would bring no date drama, who could carry on a conversation, circle the room like a pro, and owned a suit. After going through my phone directory, I found my man. It was perfect. He agreed to go with me, all was right in the world.

This is where the story takes a turn for the worse. The day before the party, I was unceremoniously dumped! By my friend! So much for no date drama. He "got back together with his girlfriend" and "didn't feel right about dating other girls". Since when was this a date? You were my wing man. This was a business transaction, pure and simple. But apparently after 4 years of friendship, this was my big move, cause apparently I am in love with him. And to tell me THE DAY BEFORE. That is inexcusable. I don't even have words.

Long story short, I didn't go alone, I found someone tall enough to allow me to wear heels, but did not have the "carry on a conversation" requirement down. But, there was the aforementioned pole dancing, a drunk Santa trying to break dance, and the head of HR dancing for $1 bills. We were all winners in that room.

The morale of this story, alcohol plus music plus middle aged men equals funny.

Oh, and I only have 12 months to find a date to next year's Christmas party. Wish me luck!