I love facials. This is no secret, and should come as no surprise to anyone. Almost two years ago, my then boss highly recommended to me a med-spa, specifically one esthetician she said was fantastic. Never one to pass up a recommendation like that, I quickly made an appointment with Lisa*, and was very happy.
About 8 months later, because the owners were late on rent, the spa closed. Lisa told me she was going to start doing facials out of her home, but for half the cost. Sold! She has a nice set up, a separate room with all the necessary equipment, blah, blah, blah. In fact, it is pretty much an exact replica of her room at the med-spa.** And for half price! The only problem with this situation? Her two yappy dogs.
I am not a dog lover. Honestly, I am not even an animal lover. I don’t know why anyone would be committed to picking up poop FOREVER. It isn’t like a dog will one day grow up and be potty trained, you know, like those human babies. Not to mention the hair, the chewing, the needing to be fed everyday. Enough already!
Previously, the dogs were never really a problem, other than their mere existence, because Lisa always kept them locked up in a separate part of her house. But then, a few weeks ago, just as she was applying my mask and relaxing eye pack, we heard a huge crash. She asked, would I mind if she went and checked on the dogs while my mask set? No problem. I was completely relaxed, eyes covered, I didn’t know who was in the room anyways.
Trying to be very Zen, Lisa slowly opened the door, but surprised, she gasped as both little dogs were standing outside the door. Then, possessed with power that could only come from the devil, one of the little dogs flew and landed right on my stomach. I know he flew because in my blinded state I had a heightened sense of hearing, and I heard no running across the hard wood floor. Startled, I started flailing about, much as you would if you had a possessed dog on your stomach, as Lisa attempted to remove the dog. I think I may have actually hit her. She was successful in retrieving the dog, but not before HE LICKED MY FACE. Apologizing profusely, Lisa got the dogs locked back up, washed all the demon venom from my face, reapplied the mask, and compensated by giving me the most amazing hot stone massage. No lasting scars.
Moral of this story: Dogs are evil, especially dogs wearing clothes.
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
**Between you and me, I am thinking that there may have been some late night shopping at the former spa, if you know what I mean.
5 comments:
wow, that is a pretty amazingly horrific story! i always thought dogs with clothes on could not be trusted. i am proven correct! i am a bit jealous about the hot stone massage, though. oh, i am leaving it up to you to figure out when jared is actually coming home! ticket prices are going up and up, but still we do not know! so, that is your mission!!!!
The older I get the more I dislike dogs! I would have loved to see you flailing about as you were attacked...I bet it was funny!
(BTW, I've decided to make my blog private, give me your email address and I'll send you an invite, you could also give me kimber's address too. But maybe I just read her blog and she doesn't read mine and then I don't need her email :)
Thanks for the dedication. For your information I am sure my dog would never EVER do anything like that to anyone. She is nothing but a sweet angel. Maybe when you come around, it has a side effect on all dogs.I think you bring out the devlish side of all dogs. The way I see it - there is only one common link here and most dogs can sense evil coming a mile away.
i would have liked to have been there, sounds very entertaining :) sorry it happened to you though and I am jealous of the massage as well :)
Remember that one time when Maren's dog drank my water out of my glass? And remember that other time when Maren's dog ate the puzzle pieces?
Dogs... I'm just sayin'.
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