Let me just state, for the record, I do not understand the Twilight craze. I am not really anti-Twilight, just annoyed by its popularity. (How anyone can compare this drivel to Harry Potter is beyond me.) It is overrated, and it says that infatuation is the same thing as true love. And, I truly am sad for people who say this is the best book they have ever read. I would like to introduce them to a little thing I like to call "literature". But, all that aside, I can respect Twilight as a trashy and addicting guilty pleasure.
I started reading book 1 about the time book 3 was released, because I wanted to understand what everyone was talking about. Book 1 was basically 500 pages of creepy vampire stalking, followed by a lot of “you're pretty, no, you're pretty”, then concluding with about 40 pages of action. "She falls down a lot" is about as much attention as gets paid to character development. Overall impression, I was kind of bored, very underwhelmed. I liked it ok, but by no means did I LOVE it, and I couldn't understand what everyone was all obsessed over.
For me, book 2 was slightly better for one reason, and one reason only, Jacob. I loved Jacob. He was funny, he was handy with tools, and he was tall and a werewolf. What isn't to love? But, book 2 also began my hatred of Bella. She is void of any personality, so obnoxiously whiny and very stupid, mostly because she couldn't see that the better choice of Jacob was sitting right in front of her. No wonder she was depressed when Edward went away, he was the most interesting thing about her. She is a horrible heroine. But, despite the Bella hate, it was ok, and I liked it enough to move to book 3 (mostly to hear more about that Jacob).
Book 3 was more of the same. Edward, Jacob, fighting over Bella, Bella being whiny and in mortal danger (again), written with physical descriptions of Edward to replace any character development. (We get it, he is hot. Move on already.) For the life of me, I can't understand why either Edward or Jacob would like (excuse me, I mean love) Bella. They are both too good for her, and I think they should just drop her, and go off and start a crime fighting force together. Awesome, right? And, I know Edward and Bella are supposed to have some deep soul mate thing going on, but I just can't see it. Infatuation? Yes. Physical attraction? Of course yes, the entire plot line is bogged down with descriptions of Edward's sparkly body and marble abs. True love? Hardly.
Book 4 is the worst of the lot. Not only did it include that creepy human/vampire baby (wouldn't you be creeped out if your baby had teeth?) with the worst name ever, it was long just for the sake of being long. I mean seriously, doesn't the woman have an editor? Why did we need all these side stories and tangents that in no way drove the plot? Why on earth would she take the time to give back-story to a woman Jacob sees in a crowd who never reappears anywhere in the story? Why did Bella need to get a fake passport that was never used? Why were these important? And, to top it all off, we STILL have to hear Bella wonder why Edward chose her. Guess what, we are all wondering why a 100 year old vampire would want an annoying teenage girl who has no personality or opinions of her own, but we have all just accepted it. Maybe you should too. Why oh why am I reading book 4?
Now we have the movie. I wanted to see it, mostly because my biggest beef with the books was poor writing. I figured someone else would have written the screenplay, and maybe it would be better. However, I didn't want to see it opening night and be one of THOSE girls. However, here I am, opening night, holding a ticket to the movie. After reading my book reviews, I am sure you are all super excited to hear my movie review! Just you wait!
I started reading book 1 about the time book 3 was released, because I wanted to understand what everyone was talking about. Book 1 was basically 500 pages of creepy vampire stalking, followed by a lot of “you're pretty, no, you're pretty”, then concluding with about 40 pages of action. "She falls down a lot" is about as much attention as gets paid to character development. Overall impression, I was kind of bored, very underwhelmed. I liked it ok, but by no means did I LOVE it, and I couldn't understand what everyone was all obsessed over.
For me, book 2 was slightly better for one reason, and one reason only, Jacob. I loved Jacob. He was funny, he was handy with tools, and he was tall and a werewolf. What isn't to love? But, book 2 also began my hatred of Bella. She is void of any personality, so obnoxiously whiny and very stupid, mostly because she couldn't see that the better choice of Jacob was sitting right in front of her. No wonder she was depressed when Edward went away, he was the most interesting thing about her. She is a horrible heroine. But, despite the Bella hate, it was ok, and I liked it enough to move to book 3 (mostly to hear more about that Jacob).
Book 3 was more of the same. Edward, Jacob, fighting over Bella, Bella being whiny and in mortal danger (again), written with physical descriptions of Edward to replace any character development. (We get it, he is hot. Move on already.) For the life of me, I can't understand why either Edward or Jacob would like (excuse me, I mean love) Bella. They are both too good for her, and I think they should just drop her, and go off and start a crime fighting force together. Awesome, right? And, I know Edward and Bella are supposed to have some deep soul mate thing going on, but I just can't see it. Infatuation? Yes. Physical attraction? Of course yes, the entire plot line is bogged down with descriptions of Edward's sparkly body and marble abs. True love? Hardly.
Book 4 is the worst of the lot. Not only did it include that creepy human/vampire baby (wouldn't you be creeped out if your baby had teeth?) with the worst name ever, it was long just for the sake of being long. I mean seriously, doesn't the woman have an editor? Why did we need all these side stories and tangents that in no way drove the plot? Why on earth would she take the time to give back-story to a woman Jacob sees in a crowd who never reappears anywhere in the story? Why did Bella need to get a fake passport that was never used? Why were these important? And, to top it all off, we STILL have to hear Bella wonder why Edward chose her. Guess what, we are all wondering why a 100 year old vampire would want an annoying teenage girl who has no personality or opinions of her own, but we have all just accepted it. Maybe you should too. Why oh why am I reading book 4?
Now we have the movie. I wanted to see it, mostly because my biggest beef with the books was poor writing. I figured someone else would have written the screenplay, and maybe it would be better. However, I didn't want to see it opening night and be one of THOSE girls. However, here I am, opening night, holding a ticket to the movie. After reading my book reviews, I am sure you are all super excited to hear my movie review! Just you wait!
5 comments:
ooohhh! You are so naughty! Don't you know all the furrowed brows you shall get while women read this post? You know I am not too excited about it either, but you have some major ca hone's my dear!
Tifani, totally agree with here, completely. Can't wait to hear your review of the movie - I haven't seen it yet.
How are you?
That is the beauty of the blog... I get to say whatever I want!
...I love your blog...and even more so NOW!!!! AMEN to it all... You'll have to check out my first post... You are totally hilarious!!! I've been blog-stalking you because you're so smart and funny!!!...Anyhow if you're wondering who this is...hint...you went to Europe with my my sis!!!... Thanks for not being a Twilight Freak!!!...
you know what i like about my sister? the excessive use of ... and !!!
and you know what i like about twilight? nothing but jacob. oh that jacob.
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